Tuesday, December 06, 2005

There's no point in pretending

Yes, I knew they would find nothing in my daughter's remains. Yes, I know my daughter had F.O.P. Yes, this condition figures into the rogue Ice strain. No it's not the catalyst. At least, that's not what I built it to be. I built it in as a marker and a cure. Correct, Lt. Blazic. This weapon was designed for a specific purpose but was designed with an off switch. The switch is in a SDB in Orlando. Yes, I was involved in its development, but not as you and your team suggest. Of course, you and your team aren't working with my dendromer, are you? He built something else.

Yes, Peter was contacted by BTUI. Or rather, I was contacted first. I shared this with him. But by this time he and I had both become disenchanted with the direction our research had gone. We, neigher one, had ever expected we'd be building weapons of first-strike capability. Response triggers were our expertise. Control devises only. But we slipped quickly over an invisible line and we hated it. We wanted more than just a way out. We wanted the work stopped. There are too many people involved. The loss of two team members wouldn't stop the project. That was our dream...my dream, to stop the project.

Contact with BTUI kept us aware of their progress. We shared what we had to to keep the communication open. We needed the funding to build our Ender. We had to make everyone aware of the research and at the same time make this whole concept so unacceptable to the world that governments would have to swear it off, make it a horrific crime.

We had this grand idea of exposing the entire US Congress. Don't laugh. We did it in a test run. It was simple. A small adjustment to the cleaning solution used in the House and Senate building. Every table, every chair, We made it light up under a broken spectrum. We stood in the gallery and watched them glow. The VP himself had it.

If we succeeded with the real thing, we wanted to leak their exposer to the press, give them a deadline in which to end all work and demand the same of other governments. It wasn't supposed to be fatal but it would have demanded the immediate replacement of Congress as well as a good portion of their support staff. But building the actual dendromer in the lab was proving difficult, or so Peter told me.

The scheme you showed me was not the molecule we were working on. I don't know what it was. I don't know why Pete decided to accept whatever he was offered. or what he agreed to change. I can't even trust that what you showed me is his work. The whole thing seems unimportant now. The hybrid didn't work. The deadline has passed, hasn't it? Fr├ęchette is still fine. Everything is fine. Accept I'm still here.

I had to run again. I just don't know what to believe or who to trust. But I'm sure your team will locate me. Sometimes I wish I had the nerve to kill myself. I truely can't think of any reason why I am still alive. Do you all still think I know something?

Oops, library is closing. Gotta go.

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