Dying Young
Will I feel it coming? Or will I, in a fraction of time, simply not be there anymore? Will I suffer? Will I feel pain? Pain scares me. Death doesn't scare me but dying does.
I know I am about to die. I am about to be murdered.
Until last August I never really gave much thought to death. There were moments of terror during pregnancy when I thought of complications. Also, on those long trips you used to take, I would lie awake nights, wrapped in you laundry and worry over you.
In a way, I feel I was resurected today. I died sometime between lunch on Halloween and breakfast this morning. One moment I was scanning slides, the next I woke in a hot bath in Willm Blazic's motel room in Tombstone. Between those events, I did not exist. There is no memory, no evidence, no signs indicating what I had been doing or where I'd been. I am at a loss as to what questions to even ask myself.
All this is the effect of one of the company's MEMS. Lost time.
Apparently my word was not good enough for Spook. I was questioned from the inside. I was of no use and no danger or I wouldn't be here. Or maybe they weren't done? I did leave rather abruptly after bashing Blazic in the face and fleeing. I may have broken that perfect nose of his. They are getting very desparate to be using Drone. It doesn't burn. There is still residue in my system.
I'm running now, though it's pointless. Some neat little kill switch inhabits my body and can be activated purposely or by accident at any time for the next 3 weeks. That's the default half-life. I've also been riced. The tell-tail needle mark in my thigh. They landed it deep too. Probably to the bone so I can't dig it out. Most likely I'm being used as bait now.
I've left a will, blood samples, documentation and a cd copy of this url in a SDB for mom and Stephen. My diary to you will be my testiment. Spook told me once that the diary didn't matter because they'd blocked it from ever reaching the net. I'm talking to some lone server deep in some cold warehouse in area 51sville.
F*ck you all. This world is getting boring anyway.
I know I am about to die. I am about to be murdered.
Until last August I never really gave much thought to death. There were moments of terror during pregnancy when I thought of complications. Also, on those long trips you used to take, I would lie awake nights, wrapped in you laundry and worry over you.
In a way, I feel I was resurected today. I died sometime between lunch on Halloween and breakfast this morning. One moment I was scanning slides, the next I woke in a hot bath in Willm Blazic's motel room in Tombstone. Between those events, I did not exist. There is no memory, no evidence, no signs indicating what I had been doing or where I'd been. I am at a loss as to what questions to even ask myself.
All this is the effect of one of the company's MEMS. Lost time.
Apparently my word was not good enough for Spook. I was questioned from the inside. I was of no use and no danger or I wouldn't be here. Or maybe they weren't done? I did leave rather abruptly after bashing Blazic in the face and fleeing. I may have broken that perfect nose of his. They are getting very desparate to be using Drone. It doesn't burn. There is still residue in my system.
I'm running now, though it's pointless. Some neat little kill switch inhabits my body and can be activated purposely or by accident at any time for the next 3 weeks. That's the default half-life. I've also been riced. The tell-tail needle mark in my thigh. They landed it deep too. Probably to the bone so I can't dig it out. Most likely I'm being used as bait now.
I've left a will, blood samples, documentation and a cd copy of this url in a SDB for mom and Stephen. My diary to you will be my testiment. Spook told me once that the diary didn't matter because they'd blocked it from ever reaching the net. I'm talking to some lone server deep in some cold warehouse in area 51sville.
F*ck you all. This world is getting boring anyway.
posted by Ginni at 12:41 PM
1 Comments:
thank you
Is one person's word against a lying government and a world in denial enough?
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