Saturday, September 10, 2005

Bland Ramblings

God, I've been so busy. I think Spook is burying me on purpose to keep me from sulking. We also got hammered by the latest casualty samples. So many keep dying over there. And now with the disasters here, services are pounded. We're backing up CDC over in G unit. They're watching for outbreaks of all the typical water-born stuff. Already been a couple deaths. E-coli.
Scope creep big time on pjct Watercan. I'm not just watching for death-related bleed of profile. I'm now watching actual burn rates on live subjects. But it's double blind. No other parameters other than to see if I can find anything. Not even a hint on what was introduced to the test subjects, if anything, when, where, or who they are. Just check the samples for any dendromer residue.

Okay, so here's my big secret: I'’ve been taking therapy. No, really. Not just because the company and my docs say so. But because I think it is helping a bit. Just talking, sharing my grief. I wish they'd help with the nightmares. Doc wants to give me a new pill that will help me sleep. Problem is it knocks you right out. That worries me. I don't like the thought of some controllingoling my life so completely. God, what if I get stuck in some dream and can't wake up?

I don't think I mentioned that Mr. Donaldson has been leaving notes and flowers every week. Such a sweet old guy. He called me Ruth the other day. Isn't that his daughter? The one that had cancer? I think he's finally losing it between the ears. Sometimes when I get home I see him just sitting on his garden swing staring at his feet, his eyes just as dull as death. His son's visits are the only thing that seem to fire him up these days. Rodney took the power mower away from him a few months ago, did he tell you? He was really pissed at the time. Especially because he didn't let his dad know who would be taking over the chore, just that he thought Mr. Donaldson was too feeble to handle it himself. I'd bet you money Rodney just wanted the ride-atop for himself. Always was a bit of a leech.


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